Once, as a child...

Once, as a child, I tried to make friends with some of the other children at court. I hadn’t a need to do so before. I’d always been quite content to spend my time alone, or with member of the house staff, but my father insisted I interact with some of his councilor’s children, “it would strengthen your position with the future assembly,” he said. I didn’t understand why it was necessary. I would never hold enough power within this kingdom to need such associations, even were my father to leave the throne . Yet he was my father. I wanted, above all else, to please him, and it was with this intention in my heart, that I went out to play with the children. Unfortunately, the palace children had no desire whatsoever to acquaint themselves with me.

There’s a sense of loss that comes around every year during this time. It never fails to come and it never fails to increase. Nothing can be done to lessen the pain. Nothing to dull it or extinguish it. It must simply be lived through. It must be survived.